Super Parent Syndrome: 5 Impossible Standards We Need to Drop

Superparent syndrome or supermom syndrome describes the impossible and unrealistic expectation that a caregiver, such as a mother, must be perfect, accomplish all goals, and manage everything for every member of her family. 

This applies to the ‘default’ parent in a child’s life—the one who typically takes care of their child’s immediate needs on a daily basis. While that parent normally strives to be the best parent they can be, they often feel like they have to live by impossible standards.

Picture: Christopher Luther / Unsplash

Being a super parent can be exhausting and lead to burnout, which is why it can be crucial to drop these impossible standards: 

Never Make Mistakes

All humans make mistakes, whether you’ve brought life into this world or not. For example, you might have forgotten that your child needs natural and organic baby skincare products during bathtime, and they experienced discomfort with standard products. You might have even forgotten to pick your child up from a music lesson or lost your temper and yelled. 

Despite the expectation to model perfect behavior and always make the right decisions, none of us are perfect. Instead of trying to obtain the unobtainable label of perfection, focus on embracing your imperfections as learning opportunities. 

Always Be Available

We know our children rely on us to take care of their every need, but that doesn’t mean we have to or can do so immediately. We parents are still humans with our own needs, relationships, mental health, and jobs. Our constant availability to our children can lead to burnout. 

Instead of always being available, teach your children independence, patience, and problem-solving by asking them to wait or help themselves where possible. These can all be valuable life skills. 

Always Say Yes

Whether it’s a treat, a sleepover, a new toy, or an extracurricular activity, we can often be in the habit of saying ‘yes’ to all our children’s demands. While you don’t have to say ‘no’ without any good reason, saying ‘yes’ all the time can lead to over-commitment for both parents and children.

Saying no when it’s the more convenient option can help children learn to cope with disappointment. 

Curate a Perfect Social Media Life

When you see the happy, smiling faces of families all over your social media feeds, it’s tempting to recreate them and collect those coveted ‘likes.’ However, you can spend more time creating the perfect photo for your social media accounts than authentically enjoying family activities.

Rather than curating a perfect social media life for others' benefit and diminishing genuine moments, focus on authentic experiences. Live in the moment and put social media snaps on the back burner. 

Over-Schedule Activities and Events

Most parents know how rewarding extracurricular activities can be. Sports lessons can be beneficial for children’s mental and physical health, while music lessons may teach them confidence, social skills, motor skills, and coordination. 

While you might wish to enroll your children in as many as possible, don’t put yourself at risk of overscheduling. The more extracurricular activities your children are enrolled in, the less time they have for rest, unstructured play, and creativity. Parents can also experience emotional and financial stress.

Instead, strike a balance between free time and planned activities by letting your children pick one or two to join.

We all strive to be the best parents we can be, but that doesn’t mean being perfect. Trying to achieve impossible standards by saying yes, always being available, and curating a perfect online life may lead to burnout, affecting our ability to authentically enjoy being parents.